Where and Joy and Sorrow Meets

At two am you would think I would be ready to sleep. My mind won’t allow me to so I turn to writing. The only thing that can fully clear my mind is writing. Currently, my mind is a mess of thoughts and emotions that need to be sorted out.

Last night, I received a call from my parents who are currently a half a world away in the only place I can truly call home. The conversation started off as it always does by talking about what our days consisted of. I was so excited to tell them about all the things going on in my life and as I did so there was a slight hesitancy in their voices but at the same time a violent urge to tell me something. I asked them about how they have been and they briefly mentioned that they were well and started off with the sentence… “We have news about Toyie…” Toyie and I have been closer than any sisters ever have or could be. We have no blood relation but the bond is deeper than blood it is of the heart. Our hearts bind us together. My beautiful sister and I have been through everything together. There have been times where while worlds away we feel each others pain. They say only twins share the ability to feel each others pain but although we share no DNA, we share that.

When through the static of the phone I heard, “We have news about Toyie,” my being froze. Two seconds turned into two years as I waited with silent fervor to hear what exactly the news was.

“Toyie, is getting married this weekend.” My soul flooded with sheer bliss followed by a deep penetrating emotion only known as agony. My joy was for her and after long awaited prayers, God brought a good Christian man to her. My joy quickly turned to pain when I heard… “this weekend.” I was quickly taken back to the days when we would spend hours out under the hot African sun talking about growing up and what our weddings were going to be like as we frolicked among the butterflies and the birds. At the end of the day as the sun set and we crawled under the covers we whispered promises that we would be in each others weddings. The realization that promise was going to be broken pierced my heart like a knife.

I am more than proud for my sister and my only wish is that I could be there as she begins her new life to let her know that I love her. Just as we feel each others pain, we feel each others joy and being able to feel her joy is guiding me through.

I love you dear sister and may the Lord of the Universe bless you now as you marry and start a new life.