Thursday, November 12, 2015

The mountains are calling and I must go

Have you ever had a sense of home? The overwhelming peace of knowing this is a safe and loving place. A place where you truly belong not because of what you do or what you look like but because you are loved for you no matter what.

I must admit I have only ever had that feeling in one place. Olkoroi, Kenya. My true home. The place my soul longs for almost daily.

That is until last Friday. As I stepped off the plane at BWI I felt it again. A sense of coming home, a familiar place. Driving away from the airport in the car of my dear host family, holding the sweetest puppy I couldn't help but smile. The familiar jokes, the laughter shared, the stories told was just what my heart needed.

Over and over this weekend, I was overwhelmed with love and greetings that started with, "welcome home."

One of the most encouraging things was a conversation I had with Ben Cachiaras the senior minister at Mountain Christian Church. All he simply said was, "We will always claim you here at Mountain. You are one of ours." Little did he know but that one sentence was the most encouraging, life providing sentence I have heard in years. It brought a profound sense of being part of an amazing family of believers who are praying for me and sending me out to do the work that God has called me to.

The weekend continued to provide that sense of family and home as throughout all the weekend services 15 of the Mountain grown missionaries were brought in front of our family and so many people came up and laid hands on us. Voices lifting prayers on our behalf left me in tears time and time again. The amount of love I felt through each service was tangible. As if I could reach out and touch it. What an amazing feeling.

This past weekend also provided an incredible opportunity to catch up with dear friends. There is just something about that spark of friendship being rekindled that leaves a lasting impression on my heart. I was encouraged my meals shared, lingering hugs and lasting memories.

My host family again brought me into the fold and loved me fiercely. Waking up each day knowing I just had to walk downstairs to be greeting with an amazing amount of love and a small amount of sarcasm filled my heart to overflowing. One of my favorite routines we had when I lived there was tea every night. Three cups would be set out on the counter, tea bag chosen and hot water poured. The three cups were brought into the living room, the TV turned on, and knitting projects were chosen. We would sit and spend most nights in each others company. To be able to do that again was indescribable. It was home.

To say that I was blessed this weekend would be an understatement. I stepped back on the plane to Missouri and found my was to my seat, I shed a few tears knowing I was leaving this home for the foreseeable future. How hard it was to lead but I left with such a renewed sense of being sent out by an amazing family made up of so many amazing people.

I am now more than ever ready to follow God's call to Thailand knowing that so many warriors stand with me ready to fight with me in prayer and love.


Saturday, November 7, 2015

The Sunrise

The hint of sunlight toys with the vast expanse of the darkest night.

He slowly begins to expand the length of the earth. The night shudders.

The strong rays of light reach their long spindly fingers over the edge of the world, trying to touch the retreating night.

The night groans and hides in fear as the sun peeks his head for a look at what mystery the night holds.

As the sun stands tall and the night retreats into its dark cave, the sun begins to search for the night. Higher and higher he searches but night itself cannot be found. It remains in remnants of darkest shadows.

Monday, October 19, 2015

What a month!

It is hard to believe that October is more than halfway over with.

What a whirlwind it has been.

I am sitting here looking over the scribblings in my planner of all the things that has filled my days and yet so much has not been written down because of their unexpected nature.

What has filled my days most is time spent working at Amazing Kidz. Five days a week I walk through the doors of a little church daycare greeted by children playing and several run up and hug my legs. They are always eager to show off new shoes, cool toys and awesome jumping moves they have created. But don't let this painted picture fool you. This job is a challenge for me everyday. A challenge because of stubborn attitudes, not sharing of toys and occasionally the child who bites or says a bad word. I truly love these kids but yet my heart hurts when I see parents not parenting and children continuing to act out as a result. God has set me in this little daycare to grow and learn as I get closer and closer to stepping on plane to Thailand.

My days are also filled with morning runs. My life has changed a lot this year and one way is how I look physically. For the first time in my life, I am able to run. What a freedom that is. I do complain every step of every mile but at the end I feel accomplished and I feel free. I am free from the bond of unhealthy choices and an overweight lifestyle. These runs have been so fulfilling because my dear dad has chosen to keep me company, and the conversations that have resulted during our runs have been theological, spiritual and all together wholesome. My dad and I have chosen to run a 5k race each month I am home with them. We want to use our running ability (however slow that may be) to be a blessing to others and run to help those in our community. Our race for October was the Hero Run and what an amazing time it was. We ran to support a local police officer who while serving our community was shot in the head. His life is a miracle as he is alive and healing. We ran with Marines, police officers, firefighters, EMTs and other community members. The beauty is how our community rallied together to be a blessing and support one of our own.

Of course my days consist of some measure of support raising and preparing to adventure off to Thailand. I have a deep appreciation and respect for missionaries simply because fundraising is a hard and a slow process. I have been around fundraising most of my life as my parents have done it time and time again and I have visited countless churches with them. Yet, I have never had to do it on my own at this scale. Woah... its hard. I have been so amazed at how God is working in the hearts of many. God is providing daily as I step out in faith. This weekend God provided an incredible opportunity for me to speak to ladies in our church about my adventure. I hosted a ladies tea complete with dainty tea cups and sugar cubes. Eighteen women came, enjoyed tea, delicious treats prepared by a culinary genius (and close friend) and got to hear about how God has called me to Thailand. It was a great opportunity to share and a fun way to do it.

Despite my busy schedule I am finding time to go on little adventures here in Springfield. I have embarked on an adventure to try a different local coffee shop each week. Today has been an enjoyable experience at Hebrew's coffee. I have enjoyed a pumpkin latte (dairy free thanks to coconut milk) and homemade hummus. So thankful for little adventures and time to blog!

Be blessed!
Ang

Thursday, October 8, 2015

To touch the past

The feeling of longing for what once was has crept into my heart.

The past is something once lived but can never be reached again except through cracked memories.

To only be able to touch those who can no longer be touched.
To run with the steady legs of a child in pursuit of a dream.
To hear the whispers shared between kindred hearts, locked deep in the vault of friendship, left to collect dust.
To escape into imaginations that created kingdoms and new world.
To be accepted because you were you and nothing else mattered.
To listen for a moment to families gathered around wooden tables laughing as the background music of night played.
To pier in on the crackled conversations between women in aprons and men with adventurous hearts.
To hear the rain playing melodies on the tin roof of a little red house.
To see the monkeys tease and play among yellow trees.
To feel the love of fellow sojourners living life together out in the bush.

This is the past I can no longer touch for it has become distant like a dream. Yet somehow it can be relived through the spark of a created thought.


I thought I would share a section of my journal with you all this morning. I have moments of longing for a season of life that has shaped the rest of my life. The things I have mentioned above are the images that played over in my mind last night as I my heart longed for the past. Maybe these images will take you back to the past that you miss, or maybe they are just empty words strung together to form delicate sentences that you can appreciate. Whatever the case may be, I hope you enjoy!

Angela

Friday, September 11, 2015

Thoughts of leaving and dreadful goodbyes


As I sit and look at the blank page I must admit it is a little intimidating. I has been a while since I have dusted off the old blog and written a post. There are days when it comes easy and thoughts just flow but I must admit today is not one of those days.

This past month has been quite a roller coaster of amazing highs and painful lows. It has been a month of transitions and growth. I have learned so much and I have grown and stretched in ways I didn’t know I needed to grow and stretch in.

The beginning of August was hectic as I was packing up and getting ready to leave for Mexico on a 10 day missions trip. The first week of August was a lot of trying to balance my time, figuring out how to get everything done, and hoping I didn’t forget to pack my toothbrush! Ha!

Once I was on the plane to Mexico it was the first time I felt like I could take a breath in weeks. I slept most of the way from Baltimore to Mexico. I was wiped and it didn’t catch up with me until I was strapped in listening to the flight attendants explain the emergency procedures. It is so crazy how your body can keep going despite exhaustion but somewhere there is an invisible line that once crossed your body shuts down. I needed those two flights to catch up on sleep and prepare myself for the next 10 days.

Mexico was such an incredible experience in so many ways. Even in the day in day out of painting walls, building tables, and laying carpet I could feel God working through our team and through me personally. But it was in the interaction and relationship building with the students at El Pozo that I really glimpsed what living your life as ministry is like. The missionaries don’t “do” ministry, they live it. It is imbedded in the threads of their life, thoughts, and in the community they create. They don’t wait until people come to them, they go out into their communities and they invest, they build relationships and their lives radiate Christ’s love. It was amazing to see and so encouraging and compelling for me. It renewed within me a desire to live a life on ministry no matter where I am or what I am doing.

God also richly blessed me with new friendships while I was in Mexico. I was surrounded by laughter, deep conversations and my cup was overflowing! One day while we were in Puebla I wrote in my journal, “I am thoroughly enjoying today. Being surrounded by God’s sons and daughters who love others so deeply and share from their hearts is filling my cup to overflowing.”

Mexico was the renewal and rejuvenation my soul had been longing for a long time. I was both excited to head home and share with everyone all that I had experienced and I was also sad to be leaving my new friends knowing I had less than a month until I had to say goodbye to my Maryland home.

Those who know me well know saying goodbye scares me. It is never been something I have been good at doing and it cuts me to my core. I love making friends and building relationships but when I have to say goodbye to those I have become attached to… I shut down. As a missionary kid goodbyes are something I have had to do the majority of my life. Although I have done it over and over and over again, it has never gotten easier and in some ways I think that it has gotten harder.

The last two weeks in Maryland set my soul on edge. There was an ever lingering cloud of dread hanging over my head and I knew the goodbyes were daily getting closer to becoming a reality. The goodbyes slowly started happening. One by one the hugs were given, prayers were said and with each one my heart felt heavier and heavier. They got more and more impossible to do because I started saying goodbye to those I love the most and have become part of their family.

Yesterday morning it all came to a head when at 7 am I drove out of the driveway, blowing kisses, tears streaming down my face as I said goodbye to my most precious host family. I felt a profound sense of loss.

I know goodbyes aren’t forever but without knowing when I will see my precious Maryland family again… it feels like forever.

God is already opening doors as I walk along this new path he has laid before me and as hard as it is to say goodbye I know without a shadow of a doubt I am following God’s call. And that is more comforting than a million hugs.

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Had Enough?


 
Recently I wrote a devo for our student ministry team here at Mountain who spent time working in the Dominican Republic. I thought I would share it with you all today as a good encouragement and reminder! Enjoy!
 
 
Are you tired yet?
Is the work you are doing tiresome?
Do you feel like calling it quits?
Have you had enough yet?
 
Let me tell you, I have answered yes to these questions before. I have hit that wall of being tired and ready to get back to the comforts of home. I have been in the pit of discouragement and begin to doubt myself and my abilities. Those feelings are not of Christ but rather thoughts that Satan sneaks into our minds to undermine the work of God in us and through us. Satan is so sneaky and before we even realize it we are ready to call it quits and forget the reason God called us to serve. I must say I am guilty of giving up sometimes when I’m too tired, to stressed and to miserable.

One of my favorite verses is James 1:2-4 It says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

So what are your current “trials”? The heat? The work? The dust? The language barrier? Whatever you are currently facing is probably testing your patience, your joy and even your faith. I have found myself questioning what God would put me in a certain place, or why I was dealing with a certain situation or issue. But I will say that when I stick it out and come out on the other side I can look back and see what God was doing. That is the maturity James was talking about. The ability to make it through and look back and see that God has never left you and always has a plan for you. Most of the time however when I am in the thick of it I can’t see it right away. Are you in that spot? If you are, I encourage you to pray that God will help you to persevere through this time and give you clarity to see why he has brought you here and how he is using you to build his kingdom where you are.  Ask God to help you find joy during this time as well.

My mother who knows me so well, tells me often to find the “sprinkles of joy” in those moments when I want to quit and walk away. As funny as it sounds… it works. Sometimes the sprinkle of joy comes in the smile of a friend. Sometimes it through a hug, a prayer, a gentle cool breeze when it is so hot out, and even in a drink of cool water after working hard all day. Sprinkles of joy often aren’t big or loud yet small and quiet reminders of God’s provision and faithfulness to watch over us as we do the work he has called us too.

My prayer is that as you work and fulfill God’s purpose for you this week, you will persevere through the tough days and at the end see what God has done in and through you. I also pray that you look for those small “sprinkles of joy” that God has placed throughout each and every day!
May God bless you for your heart to serve and may you always know how much you are a cherished child of God.

Blessings,

Angela

Monday, June 22, 2015

It is off to Thailand I go!

So by now I guess the word is out!

I AM MOVING TO THAILAND!!!!
I couldn't be more excited for the journey ahead. There has been a lot of prayer and thought going into this decision. I have had some very wise council and for that I am so very thankful!

I wanted to update you all on some of the details of my new adventure.

I have already gotten the question, "So why are you going there?" To answer that question, I am going to work at a Children's Home outside of Chiang Mai called Agape Home. Agape Home is a home for children living with or are at risk for HIV/AIDS. Agape Home has been providing a safe and loving place for children to live for almost 20 years!

My primary job while I am there is to be a caregiver, mentor and teacher. The older kids go to school everyday and while they are at school I will be helping to teach the preschoolers English. I am so excited to love on some precious children. I will also be helping the older kids with their English as well.

I will be working with the kids 6 days a week. But beyond teaching them, I cannot wait to love on them. To become their friends and to become a part of their family!

Agape Home is about 25 minutes outside of Chiang Mai and I will be living in a small community near the home. I am so excited to build community and get to know my neighbors. As far as where I will be living, I will have a volunteer unit which is like an apartment.

I know God is guiding this new adventure and I couldn't be more excited!!!
I would appreciate your prayers as I begin to fundraise, as I end my residency here in Maryland and as I get ready to move to Thailand!

Thank you in advance for your prayers and support!

Ang

Friday, June 5, 2015

Oh Darling... Lets be Adventurers.

I have been told I have the heart of a wanderer, a traveler, an adventurer.

I have the deep seeded need to see new places and meet new people.

My heart aches for places I haven't been and adventures I have yet to embark on.

When I am in one place too long I get itchy feet to travel and move.

So, that is what I am doing. I am moving once again. This time on my own, without my parents, friends and family.

My heart has been taken captive by a people I fell in love with two years ago.

I am moving to Thailand for a year. 

Just typing that puts a smile on my face.

For the next year my primary mission is to love.

To love on children who were not given a fair chance.

To love on mothers dying of HIV/AIDS.

To love on those who love others.

I cannot wait for this adventure to start!

I will post more as I know more!

God is so good!!!




Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Gazing back at 2014 and renewing in 2015

With the start of 2015 I believe it is time to pause and look back at what 2014 held and what I have to look forward to in 2015.

2014 was a very hard year. There is no way around that and it cannot be sugar coated. As much it was hard, it was filled with God's presence.

I started off 2014 with major abdominal pain which led to two ER visits and ultimately my first hernia repair surgery.

At the same time as I was dealing with physical pain I was dealing with emotional pain that this broken world brings.

This was such a low point for me. I was physically ill and couldn't move much and I was broken in spirit. But God didn't leave me. He surrounded me with amazing friends who loved me, cried with me, cared for me. I saw God's hand in the mending of broken relationships and a restoration of health emotionally and physically.

The spring was filled with my final semester, graduation and then before I knew it I was on a plane to Kenya. The first time I had been back in 3 years. It was so exciting to be flying home. I didn't sleep a wink the whole way there because I couldn't wait to smell the air, see the familiar faces and hear the sounds of Kenya.

Our first three weeks in Kenya were constant joy and excitement. I met new people, hugged people I hadn't seen in many years, preached in new places, and spoke a language my tongue remembered well.

That third week brought a surprise that no one could have expected. I was in terrible pain once again. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat and breathing became a hard task.

We made an emergency trip 8 hours into Nairobi where through a series of doctor and surgeon visits, I was told I needed emergency surgery. The first surgery had been so badly messed up that the mesh put in the first time was cutting into my intestines and had created an inch tear in my stomach as well as creating scar tissue.

4 days after my first doctor's visit I was admitted into the hospital and the next day I went into surgery. The surgery was supposed to last an hour and instead lasted nearly 5 hours. They removed a softball size amount of tissue and mesh and repaired the hernia.

After surgery, I sank into depression. I was devastated as I was told I wouldn't be able to travel back out to finish our time out in the bush. I didn't even get to say goodbye to those I loved. I left thinking I would be back and there I was stuck in Nairobi with nothing to do but wrestle with my thoughts and read until I didn't want to read anymore.
God was there though. He brought me a new friend Jen and a dear friend Sarah. Those two girls kept my spirit up through laughs and time of sharing our struggles. They made those three weeks bearable and I looked forward to each time I got to see them.

Our time in Kenya ended and I trekked across the United States to begin a residency with Mountain Christian Church. Since August 2014 I have been working with kids in an after school program along with other community impact projects.

Being so far away from home has not been easy and there have been many times of struggle but God has remained faithful and I have seen him work in my life and the lives of those in our community.

As I look ahead to 2015 I look forward to this being a year of renewal and growth as I continue to follow God's plan for my life!

Love,
Ang