I have had two major thoughts this week
1) How God is challenging me. This past week God has been stretching me and growing me. This past week God put a situation in my life in which I had to choose if I was going to grow through it or take a negative attitude about it. It was tough but I looked at it as a growing experience. God taught me how much I needed to rely on him to be able to make it through. He surrounded me with wonderful friends to help me see how I could grow and also to pray for me.
2) I have also been thinking about how I need to have more patient. I have become so impatient with God's timing and wanting things to happen when I want them to happen. God's timing is perfect but sometimes its not when I think it should happen. I have realized that my impatience is leading me becoming worried. Being worried leads to me being depressed. This is a big downward spiral that only comes from the devil. If I let the Lord have control and trust that the Lords timing is perfect (which it is) I have nothing to worry about and life is so much happier.
I continue to pray that the Lord will open my eyes to what he has for me to learn,
Always in Christ
Ang
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Hearts
He approaches slowly with a determination in his step and a hardened look on his face
He stops only short of where I am and looks into my eyes
His eyes are midnight black, they are frightening but yet I can't look away
His hand extends slowly reaching out toward me like a beggar looking for a coin
I know what he has come for and I can't stop him from taking it
He keeps reaching until he touches me, ever so slightly but yet I feel the electric sting behind it
He grabs my heart and with a sudden ease, he takes it
I look down and see an empty hole where once sat the very thing that made me love him
He holds my heart out in front of me and chuckles, a chuckle that says he has won the battle for my heart
A tear slips from my eye as he pulls out an old jar from his pocket
I begin to tremble as he begins to unscrew the rusted tin lid, for I know what will happen now
The jar contains hearts, not just mine but many more from those he has played the same trick on
He looks at me again with he mysterious black eyes and places my heart among the many
I am not the first victim nor will I be the last of his cruel game
He turns and I watch him walk a way with a hole in my chest, as he adds one more to his collection.
He stops only short of where I am and looks into my eyes
His eyes are midnight black, they are frightening but yet I can't look away
His hand extends slowly reaching out toward me like a beggar looking for a coin
I know what he has come for and I can't stop him from taking it
He keeps reaching until he touches me, ever so slightly but yet I feel the electric sting behind it
He grabs my heart and with a sudden ease, he takes it
I look down and see an empty hole where once sat the very thing that made me love him
He holds my heart out in front of me and chuckles, a chuckle that says he has won the battle for my heart
A tear slips from my eye as he pulls out an old jar from his pocket
I begin to tremble as he begins to unscrew the rusted tin lid, for I know what will happen now
The jar contains hearts, not just mine but many more from those he has played the same trick on
He looks at me again with he mysterious black eyes and places my heart among the many
I am not the first victim nor will I be the last of his cruel game
He turns and I watch him walk a way with a hole in my chest, as he adds one more to his collection.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Memories
I watched my senior video tonight for the first time in a while. It brought back many memories from when I was growing up. Memories that leave me wishing I could revisit those times for even just a moment.
Some of the memories that were brought to my mind was times spent with my parents. On most afternoons or early evenings daddy would make time to spend with me. I realize now how busy he was with all the many tasks that come with the job of being a missionary. But the amazing thing is, he still took time for me. We would do so many fun things together. We had what we called our special tree. It was a fallen tree that was just a short walk from our house. Daddy would put me on top of the tree and I would proceed to walk across it all the while daddy was saying "Here she goes! Can she do it? Is she going to get the gold?" It was exhilarating for me as a little girl. Of course I would always end up getting the "gold" and daddy and I would walk back to the house hand in hand to see if mom needed help with dinner. Another thing that daddy and I would do sometimes is we would ride the motorcycle together.
It was a treat when dad would say that we could go for a motorcycle ride together.I would run up to the house and put shoes on (99% of the time I was barefoot!)I would get my helmet on but I could never figure out the chin strap so daddy would bend down on his knees and help me out even thought I always wanted to do it myself. Daddy would start up the motorcycle and I would hop on the back. I would wrap my arms around daddy and hold on as we took off down the dirt trails. I felt safe having my daddy so close as we zipped around Olkoroi. I loved the sound that the motorcycle made and the feeling that I nothing in the world could touch me. I loved every moment I got to spend with my daddy.
I loved spending time with mommy as well. A lot of the time mommy was in the kitchen and I loved to help cook. One of my favorite cooking activities with mom was making cinnamon rolls. Mom would let me help with every step of the way. Even though I couldn't do it all by myself she still let me do everything I could. I loved learning from her. She would tell me how much of a good job that I did even if I got the whole kitchen messy. Mom knew and still knows how to make me feel special and she knows how to make me feel good about myself.
Another thing that mommy did, is she would put me to bed almost every night (Daddy would too sometimes). She would come in my room and tuck me in bed and lay down beside me. She would scratch my back and she would sing me a song. Sometimes it would be a song that she would make up, other times it would be old hymns. My favorite song that she sang to me was one that she made up. It went like this: "The puppies go night night, the kitties go night night and Angela she goes night night too, And the stars up in the sky all smile and say good night, night night, night night."
This would go on with names of friends, family members and other animals. I love the song and it still brings peace to me.
I love my parents to pieces. They mean the world to me! They helped shape me to be who I am today and I wouldn't be the same without them. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!
Some of the memories that were brought to my mind was times spent with my parents. On most afternoons or early evenings daddy would make time to spend with me. I realize now how busy he was with all the many tasks that come with the job of being a missionary. But the amazing thing is, he still took time for me. We would do so many fun things together. We had what we called our special tree. It was a fallen tree that was just a short walk from our house. Daddy would put me on top of the tree and I would proceed to walk across it all the while daddy was saying "Here she goes! Can she do it? Is she going to get the gold?" It was exhilarating for me as a little girl. Of course I would always end up getting the "gold" and daddy and I would walk back to the house hand in hand to see if mom needed help with dinner. Another thing that daddy and I would do sometimes is we would ride the motorcycle together.
It was a treat when dad would say that we could go for a motorcycle ride together.I would run up to the house and put shoes on (99% of the time I was barefoot!)I would get my helmet on but I could never figure out the chin strap so daddy would bend down on his knees and help me out even thought I always wanted to do it myself. Daddy would start up the motorcycle and I would hop on the back. I would wrap my arms around daddy and hold on as we took off down the dirt trails. I felt safe having my daddy so close as we zipped around Olkoroi. I loved the sound that the motorcycle made and the feeling that I nothing in the world could touch me. I loved every moment I got to spend with my daddy.
I loved spending time with mommy as well. A lot of the time mommy was in the kitchen and I loved to help cook. One of my favorite cooking activities with mom was making cinnamon rolls. Mom would let me help with every step of the way. Even though I couldn't do it all by myself she still let me do everything I could. I loved learning from her. She would tell me how much of a good job that I did even if I got the whole kitchen messy. Mom knew and still knows how to make me feel special and she knows how to make me feel good about myself.
Another thing that mommy did, is she would put me to bed almost every night (Daddy would too sometimes). She would come in my room and tuck me in bed and lay down beside me. She would scratch my back and she would sing me a song. Sometimes it would be a song that she would make up, other times it would be old hymns. My favorite song that she sang to me was one that she made up. It went like this: "The puppies go night night, the kitties go night night and Angela she goes night night too, And the stars up in the sky all smile and say good night, night night, night night."
This would go on with names of friends, family members and other animals. I love the song and it still brings peace to me.
I love my parents to pieces. They mean the world to me! They helped shape me to be who I am today and I wouldn't be the same without them. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!
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