Walking Tall for the Lord (Literally)

As most people know I am tall. almost 6'3" to be precise. Obviously it is the first thing that people notice about me. All the time I hear whispers when my back is turned saying, "HOLY COW! She is freakishly tall!" It stings a little bit because like the rest of the world I want to be accepted and I don't want to stick out among anyone. But its kind of a hard thing not to when I tower over most people! Ha ha ha!

It can be a really big struggle for me because the sting of the comments leads my mind down a path of insecurity and self-doubt. It makes it hard for me to want to do the work God has set out for me. All I want to do is sit in my dorm room where I know no one can judge me but I can't. Plain and simple. It is not what the Lord has in mind for my life. I have so much work left to do in my life to ignore those who feel it is there place to judge me.

The bible says in James 1 "Consider it pure joy my brothers when you face trials of many kinds..." It is a hard command to follow because trials are not a happy time in a persons life. It certainly isn't a fun thing to hear hurtful comments. It takes a conscience effort to wake up in the morning and make myself face the cruel world but I know that I am a child of God. Every morning through out middle school and high school before I left for school my dad would tell me in maasai, "Remember who you are." I would reply back (in maasai) "I am a child of God." This simple act and reminder gave me that hope that God is with me. I can do anything through Christ.

Even with the hardships of being tall I know that I can walk tall for the Lord and hold my head high (it almost touches the clouds sometimes haha) and do the work that he has in store for me.

Momma and I walking in a state park in 2009.

Wherever you lead I will go!

It's funny to see the expressions on people's faces when I tell them that I want to be a missionary. For some people their expression is one of disbelief. They look at me like "why in the world would you want to do something crazy like that?" For others their expression is one like "Well I'm glad someone is going out, but I'm sure not!" A very select few pat me on the back and tell me that they are proud of me and will pray for my journey to become a missionary. I feel so blessed to know that even though they are few, there are people who believe in me.

Being a missionary to me is more than just a job, it is a way of life. It encompasses your whole life. From the time you wake-up until the very moment you lay your head on your pillow. Growing up in Kenya taught me so much about this. Mom and Dad would make late night drives to take people to the nearest clinic before ours were built. There were countless times that I remember having people into our home at all hours of the day and night to pray with them, having them in to have meals with us and loving on them like they were our family. As a missionary you are surrounded by your mission field all the time, and the thing while it is hard at times for missionaries to be completely surrounded by their mission field. The beauty of being is surrounded by your mission field is that God is always giving you opportunities to show people the light at the end of the tunnel which is God's wonderful grace.

I realize that becoming a missionary is going to be a hard choice for me as it already has been. I have had to end relationships to follow my passion of becoming a missionary. I know that I am following God's will and that I will face times where it will be difficult, but in the end I know I am doing the right thing, and that he will provide a husband for me in his timing. The thing is that I know that I can make it through the hard times and the good times are going to be even better than I could have ever imagined.

People think I am crazy for going to a place where there is no running water and there are wild animals are all around me. The thing is, no matter what I know I am following God's calling. God is calling me to be a missionary and every night when I pray I tell the Lord "Wherever you lead I will go!"

No matter what the passion God has placed on your heart don't let anyone or anything stop you from reaching for the stars and following that passion.

Loves,
Ang

Kenyan Sunset

Friday Night in the 423

Friday Night in the 423 may consist of many different things but tonight for me is a quiet night in my dorm room sitting and doing what I love best thinking and watching COPS. Tonight I am thinking once again about Kenya, but not just Kenya but about one person particularity. I am thinking about someone who is near and dear to my heart.My sister Toyie. I miss her so very very much. She has been there with me through thick and thin. I would like to tell you about how Toyie and I met and the story of us becoming closer than sisters.

I was about three years old and mom and I were walking home on the long and dusty road home from the villages.  I remember that there were a couple little girls from the village that were playing along the road. Mom knew who their parents were and invited them over to our house that following Friday night to spend the night. Every Friday and Saturday night from then on as long as I remember Toyie and Linti spent the night.

When were about 7 when Linti got the opportunity to go to a boarding school about an hour away from Olkoroi where we lived. Toyie still came over every weekend like always and we continued to play and have fun. We grew really really close and always talked about everything.

Some of my most fond moments were spend with Toyie. When were little we used to play house in the yard and cook "food" out of mud and grass. Every Saturday morning we would get up as early as we could and cook breakfast for mom and dad. Our favorite thing on a rainy afternoon was to watch Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. We would watch it over and over again and then we would sing the songs and try to do the dances.

Even now that we are older and have stayed close and when we get to see each other we can talk all day. Once when my dad when to Kenya by himself he visited her. Toyie asked dad if anything was wrong with me because she had this feeling in her heart that something was wrong with me. At that time I was going through a bout with an amoeba. We have such a close bond and I teared up when I heard this story.

I love my sister very much and I miss her!!!!

Here are some pictures of Toyie and I:

One of the things about Toyie and I is that we are crazy girls! Hence the fact that we are sitting in a pot!!!

I love my sister!!! This picture was taken in 2009.

 We love to cook traditional Kenyan food. When we were little we wanted to cook as much as we could but the mess we left behind was enormous!

One afternoon Toyie and I were sitting on the bed talking and we fell asleep. Dad came into get us for dinner and we were so tired that we didn't hear him and he took this picture.

Ponderings of a girl.

Count Down of My Top Eight Thoughts of the Day:

8: Starting classes tomorrow- I love starting school and the excitement of new books and new subjects. However, once the semester is halfway through I begin to get bored and just want to give up. With 19 hours this semester I have to step it up and become a mean studying machine. I want to prove to myself that I can do this. A bonus though. . .I just found out we are on snow schedule which means I don't have to start class until 9:30!!!!!


7: Home cooked meals- As I stare at the neon pink and yellow boxes of Maruchan Instant Lunch with Shrimp aka ramen noodles and I suddenly have a pang for home cooked meals. Roast beef, mashed potatoes, green beans, rolls. . .I better stop or I am going to start drooling :)


6: Body Butter- For Christmas my Meme got me Body Butter and I have a question about it. Is there really butter in it? To answer that question there is cocoa butter in it. Problem is I don't know what cocoa butter is. . .


5: Snow- I don't think I ever realized how much it snows here in East Tennessee!!! I had at least 4 inches when I attempted to scrape it off. I have experienced "snow" before in Missouri but not anything like this. IT JUST KEEPS SNOWING!!!! Its crazy!!! One bonus like I mentioned earlier is the fact that we are on snow delay!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! It's still snowing and probably will for the next few days!!!


4: Spider-Man-I was looking through my closet and pulled out my spider-man shirt and I realize how much I still love spider-man and how much spider-man things I have. I have a comforter, a blanket, a coloring book, all three movies, a shirt, pictures, at one point a profile picture and the list continues!!! I am in love with spider-man! He is the only guy who can sweep me off my feet (literally!!!)


3: Reading-I realize that I won't have a big amount of time to read this semester because of all the classes I am taking but I would like to at least complete a couple of reading books. One book that I just found that I have is When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy. It is really relevant to my life at the moment. Another book that I want to ready is Live Life on Purpose by Claude Hickman. Both of these books come with high recommendations and I am hoping to get them read!!!


2: Kenya-When am I not thinking about Kenya? I think about it every waking moment. It is my passion and my life. I couldn't live without it. I feel like a fish out of water when I am anywhere else. I know that with all my heart God is calling me to be a missionary there and to spread the gospel to those who have yet to be reached. I miss it so much and pray that God will calm my heart until I can go back to that wonderful country again.


1: Mistakes I have made- I have been thinking a lot about mistakes that I have made lately. How I feel so stupid when I look back on them. The lyric to Bruno Mar's Song Move On captures what I feel.
"How do I end up in the same old place,
faced again with the same mistakes,
so stubborn thinkin I know what is right,
but life proves me wrong everytime,
takin roads that lead me nowhere..." 
I talked to my dad about how I feel about the mistakes that I have made and how I feel stupid and his words to me really encouraged me. "I absolutely refuse to let the evil one condemn me and continue to call me stupid. I am God's child pure and simple, a holy temple for the swelling of the Holy Spirit and so are you my precious Angela. Always hold on to our God who sometimes shows us severe mercy."

I want to encourage all of you who are struggling with things in your life that leave you feeling stupid or leave you with a feeling in your stomach that you just can't seem to get rid of to take the advice that my dad gave me and refuse to let Satan make you think you are worthless and stupid.

Loves,
Ang

Cold Blustery Day

As I sit in my warm and cozy dorm room looking at the flakes of white fall from the sky, I think of the things I miss. I miss running barefoot through the emerald grass, smiling as the laughter of the beautiful Maasai children reach my ears as we played many games of soccer. I long to back to the days where simplicity was eternally mine. Where imagination was a way of life. I miss the days where riding in the truck was like riding in Cinderella's Coach. I miss the days when "pretend that. . ." was the start to every sentence among all the missionary kids as we climbed the trees at Mennonite Guest House. I miss climbing up into a tree and hiding away with a book and watching the monkeys climb above me and chatter to themselves. I miss hearing "Sopa" thousands of times everyday as people came up to the little red house to "chew the news" and drink chai. I miss the feeling that God was looking apon our little village and smiling as the believers gathered and worshiped in such a way that tears filled my eyes as the most beautiful prayers reached the heavens. I miss Olkoroi.

My goals for 2011!

I have five goals for 2011:
1- To start a blog capturing things in my life I feel as though need to be shared. I can now check this off my list!

2- STOP DRINKING SODAS!!!!

(this is the very last soda of the year!)

3-Studying more/better
Not that I don't study because I do but I need to start studying more because with 19 hours this semester shewww its going to be tough

4- To color more! I thoroughly enjoy coloring but find no time to do so!!! My goal is to color at least half of my Curious George coloring book!

 

5- Lastly but certainly not least! Is to go to Kenya in the summer!!! I am so blessed to have grown up there and look forward to spending three weeks there working in an orphanage in Nairobi and then on to Olkoroi to visit with all of my Maasai family!!!!