I apologize to all of you who are following my blog! I realize that I have not written anything in almost two months! Its not for a lack of wanting to, its for a lack of time! These past few months have been insane! I however am not here to write about every tiresome chore and long night but rather to give you an insight into my mind as I count down the days until I leave the United States.
1. Spiritual warfare is very real!
These past few months have brought a lot of bumps in the road and it has become very clear to me that the devil does not want me going to Thailand. For some reason I have always viewed spiritual warfare as something that mentally and spiritually you deal with and while that is true I have learned just how physical it can be. I have learned this through a breast cancer scare, strep throat, injured hip, bad colds, and sleepless nights. Through this I am learning to rest secure in who goes before me. I know he lights the way and its in him I rest. I am thankful for parents who realized the spiritual warfare going on and continually covers me, our house and our family in prayer!
2. I over pack...way...way...way... too much!
Yes, I already have one of my suitcases packed! (No judgment!) I like to be prepared and ready to go. As I was trying to decide what I should take with me I realized I over pack because I want to make sure I have enough of everything in case I need it. You never know when you might need 7 journals or 3 boxes of tea! I am certainly going to have to go back through my stuff and take some stuff out that I will not need. After all, I am going to the second largest city in Thailand! Haha
3. I am more nervous than I let on.
While most people assume my world traveling resume makes me fearless and ready to take on anything in my path, its not quite true. I do love to travel and according to my mom I should be more worried when it comes to traveling alone. The traveling part excited me to my core.... its the moving part that scares me. I am an independent soul and I have moved a lot in my life but its always been within a reachable distance from my parents. (Granted Thailand is too but it just takes a lot more time and money to get there!) My parents and I are super close, they are my best friends, my secret keepers, my accountants, my car fixer uppers, my shoulders to cry on and my heart aches at the thought of being away from them for a whole year. No nightly phone call goodnight, no prayers before bed time, no kiss as I leave to go to work. (sheww... I'm crying buckets now!) My nervousness comes in at the fact that I am doing this on my own. No close friends or my parents to help me navigate. I guess what I am trying to say is I am nervous of all the unknown. My dad and I sing the Micheal W. Smith song, "I'm diving in, I'm going deep, in over my head I wanna be." This is my mantra to help me get through the nervousness and focus on my calling and the light God is shining before me.
4. My heart is already captivated by the children.
I was surfing through Facebook earlier this week and I went to the Agape Home Facebook to look at their pictures. Oh my stars I fell in love instantly with each smiling face. I didn't realize how much love my heart could hold but it certainly is holding love for 108 children. I cannot wait to hug and kiss and love on these beautiful children. I don't think I will ever get tired of hugging children and looking at their smiling faces! I eagerly await the day I get to scoop them up and tell them how much I love them and how much God loves them!
5. I am soooooooooooooooooooooooo glad that God did not call me somewhere cold.
To be fair we have had a mild winter so far this year (according to most). My African blood tells me otherwise. When it drops below 70, you will see me with a sweater and probably a scarf. When it drops below 50... the winter coat comes out, plus a sweater and socks and a nice hot cup of tea. I am more ready each day to be in warm (hot) weather and not have to worry about cold, dreary winter and snow (Yuck!). I continually ask myself what winter is even good for and I have yet to come up with anything good! If you can come up with a good reason for winter, let me know! Haha
6. My calling goes as far back as I can remember.
Someone recently asked me when I felt a "calling" to work with orphans or just children in general. To be honest I never had that "AHA!" moment, it was just an ingrained part of me. I look back at pictures of me in Kenya when I was as little as 2 and I was sitting on the ground with the women holding their babies. One of my earliest memories is of me holding a Maasai baby. I remember having a sense that I was making this child safe by holding her close and loving her. I knew in that moment that I wanted to make as many children as I could feel loved and safe. Over the years that same passion has grown and I want to love and protect children as fiercely as I possibly can.
Well my friends... Thank you for reading my random thoughts! I hope you enjoy!
Love,
Ang
